Let Me Go
by thefactionlessauthor
Summary: "I want you to stop searching for signs of me," I whisper, stroking his forehead with the tips of my fingers. I know he can't hear me, can't feel or see me like he wishes he could. But a part of me wishes that in his dream-filled sleep, he'd wake up and see me one last time, and finally let me go... (T for lang.) *ALLEGIANT SPOILERS*


**A/N: So as I was rereading Allegiant, this idea popped into my head. I promise you that this, in no way, will affect my update-speed on the other stories. This is just a short chapter to sort of begin the story, chapters afterwards will be longer. You don't have to review, but if you do please let me know if I should continue and what you thought. Stay awesome. **

When my eyes open, I'm at home.

But home whirls past me as quickly as it came, changing from the chasm, to the room the initiates shared, to my bedroom in Abnegation, to Tobias's apartment back in Dauntless. But grey surrounds me again, except the room is lighter—not filled with the pale lights the Abnegation usually have: no, instead there's a bright, white light glaring into my eyes from the wall opposite me.

I'm back in my bedroom, but my bedroom never opened up to a brightly-lit tunnel.

I see shadows all the way down, moving. Some gracious, some slow—others fast, and the rest standing still. I can hear voices, happy voices. Shouldn't I be afraid?

Is this some other universe between living and dying?

My feet carry me closer to the silhouettes. It's only when I am a few feet from them, do I actually see who they are. My parents, elderly Abnegation, Dauntless, Amity, Erudite, and even Candors. There are some children, chasing each other around.

But the faces of my friends—Tori, Will, Al, Edward, Lynn, Marlene...

And _Uriah_.

I feel tears prickle over in my eyes; I have to be dreaming. Except I'm dead, I can't will myself awake no matter how hard I try, "Tris?" Uriah asks, sadness lacing his voice. He died too?

"You're not supposed to be here!" I can't make my voice go any higher than a strained whisper. Uriah's not supposed to be dead, he was supposed to wake up with a smile and crack a joke. He's supposed to be breathing, laughing, and running up to hug the nearest person he considered his friend. He's not supposed to be here.

_Tobias._ I can't imagine what he's feeling.

"You're not supposed to be dead," I say. He answers with a sad nod, but it doesn't stop him from throwing his arms around me. I cry into his shirt, soaking the sleeve. None of these people are supposed to be dead—none of them! Not Uriah; not Al; not Tori; not Will; not Marlene or Lynn, or Edward, or my parents...

None of them should have died.

I don't know when I calm down, but Uriah's grip on me doesn't loosen. I've gone quiet; he pulls back to look at me, leading toward all of the people. They all look like they're waiting for something—Uriah stops in front of a large white bowl, kind of like the bowls used during the Choosing Ceremony. But I don't think about the Choosing Ceremony; Tobias's face appears inside the water, like it knew my thoughts. His face is red, and blotchy, and tear-streaked; he's standing over me. _Me_. But _me_ is lifeless, so pale that my skin looks almost blue. I look like I'm sleeping, except I know I'm not.

I can't will myself to look away, but I need too. I can't think about Tobias, crying for me. So I look down, expecting to see the cause of my death riddled through my body. But I don't. Instead of being dressed in Dauntless black, I'm dressed in peaceful white. There is no more pain here, there is no more suffering.

You would think we were all alive and in one piece.

I glance at the others; last time I saw Uriah, he was hooked up to tubes. He traded his tubes for white; breathing is no longer a necessity. Then I look at my parents; the blood from my father's mouth when he was shot is gone, nothing but smooth skin. My mother's side doesn't look like bullets ripped through it. Tori looks... _lost_. She looks upset. The gash in Al's head is replaced by pale skin, as though he never jumped.

Edward has his eye back; he looks as handsome as when I first met him. I didn't take a closer look after simulation Marlene pitched herself off the roof, but she's all together. She looks lost as well—but not upset, she just looks genuinely confused. Why wouldn't she? Her death wasn't her own; she wasn't aware for any of it.

Lynn's bullet wound is gone as well.

It's not a pain from all the wounds I'd received before my mother's waiting arms took me away; it's a pain of love and loss and sadness that I'm feeling.

"What is that?" I ask him, motioning to the bowl, "what does it do?"

"The only thing that connects us to their world," Uriah replies, "they just can't see us."

"So we can see everything they do?" He nods. I don't want to just observe Tobias's life—I didn't want to die, but there was nothing I could do when the world started edging towards darkness. I didn't want to leave him, but to watch his life go on... I'm not a part of it anymore; I can't watch or all I'll ever do until the day I see him again is wish I was there with him by his side. "Do you watch through it often?" I ask.

Uriah shakes his head, "No. But when they mention your name, it kinda rings in your ears. You get curious."


End file.
